Best Self-Help Books: Most Recommended by David Yarian PhD -- Challenges in Living

Menu: Best Self Help Books - Challenges in Living

• Blended Family
• Communication Skills
• Divorce
• Family Issues
• Gay and Lesbian Issues
• Grief and Bereavement
• Intimate Relationships: Relationship Advice
• Men's Issues
• Men's Sexual Health
• Parenting: Birth to Twelve Months
• Parenting: Toddlers to Pre-Teens
• Parenting: Teenagers
• Sexuality and Sex Education
• Women's Issues
• Women's Sexual Health

Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family
Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green

Blending two existing families into one cohesive whole is the challenge facing millions of remarried Americans today. Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters -- all can chisel away at your union if you don't always make your marriage a priority. This invaluable remarriage self-help manual can help you make your stepcouple the foundation of a strong, happy, and successful stepfamily. 2002, Three Rivers Press

Stepwives: Ten Steps to Help Ex-Wives and Step-Mothers End the Struggle and Put the Kids First
Louise Oxhorn, Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood, Marjorie Krausz

Once bitter enemies (Louise married Lynne's ex-husband), the authors, with the assistance of psychologist Krausz, created a ten-step program called Co-Mamas to help ex-wives and step-mothers build a healthy relationship that puts children first. This self-help book offers practical suggestions for developing empathy and learning to lessen tension and support the children caught in a divorce. 2002, Fireside

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed or Desperate
Harriet Lerner

Best-selling author and therapist Lerner offers clear and practical advice on how to speak out in a wide variety of difficult situations. Recognizing the difficulty of communication while in an emotional state, she supplies guidance on sharing vulnerability, voicing concerns, apologizing and setting limits. Filled with compelling stories and case examples. 2002, Quill

You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation
Deborah Tannen

This thought-provoking self-help book describes in clear detail how women and men miscommunicate with each other. For most women conversation is a way of connecting and negotiating. Men use conversation to achieve or maintain social status or to impart knowledge. This self-help book was on the New York Times Best Seller List for 4 years. Filled with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong and to find a common language to strengthen relationships. 2001, Perennial Currents

The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart
Constance R. Ahrons

Based on two decades of research, this self-help book presents the surprising finding that in more than 50% of divorces couples end their marriages yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying, early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family -- one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children. The Good Divorce dispels the myth that divorce inevitably leaves emotionally troubled children in its wake. 1995, Harper

Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child
Isolina Ricci

Author Ricci advises separated, divorced and remarried parents about setting up a good working relationship with the ex-spouse in order to make two loving homes for their children. Practical advice on the legal, financial and emotional realities on creating two happy and stable homes for children in the aftermath of a divorce. 1997, Fireside

Going Home without Going Crazy: How to Get Along with Your Parents & Family (Even When They Push Your Buttons)
Andra Medea

In this self-help book you'll learn how to use the four-level conflict continuum to understand conflict within your family and work toward resolution. From petty bickering to hurtful remarks to naked aggression, each level of conflict requires a unique approach. Learn to deal with anger and resentment, communicate more effectively, and strengthen relationships with family members. 2006, New Harbinger

Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships
Merilee Clunis and Dorsey Green

For lesbians (as for all couples) achieving and sustaining intimacy remains a challenge. From mind-reading and making assumptions to conflict and disillusionment, the book examines the strengths and weakness, flagging potential problem areas and offering real-life examples and solutions to the challenges lesbian couples experience. 2005, Seal Press

Ten Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives
Joe Kort

Openly gay therapist, Joe Kort, provides ten powerful and positive steps gay men can take to overcome self-defeating behavior patterns. Some of the steps include Take Charge of Your Life; Affirm Yourself by Coming Out; Graduate from Delayed Adolescence; and Maintain Rewarding Relationships. This self-help book offers time-tested practical decisions gay men can make in their search for emotional, sexual and personal fulfillment. 2003, Alyson Publications

The Bereaved Parent
Harriet Schiff

This classic self-help book has helped thousands of parents navigate through the difficult years following the death of a child. Schiff offers her own experiences and the experiences of other parents with funerals, protracted grief, the need for support from other bereaved parents, the complicated feelings of guilt and powerlessness at being unable to protect or save one's child, and the effects on marriage and surviving siblings. 1977, Crown

A Grief Observed
C. S. Lewis

This powerful memoir recounts the crushing grief and spiritual questioning of C. S. Lewis after his wife's tragic death. It is a moving account of the inner turmoil and overwhelming vulnerability of grief. The book is a beautiful and unflinchingly honest memoir of how even a stalwart believer can lose all sense of meaning in the universe, and how he can gradually regain his bearings. 2001, HarperSanFrancisco

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
Harville Hendrix

This popular self-help book is divided into three sections: the first, "the unconscious marriage" describes how left-over desires and behavior from childhood interfere with the current relationship. The second section "the conscious marriage" describes how a marriage could fulfill childhood needs in a positive manner. The third section is a course in relationship therapy which gives detailed exercises for both partners to follow in order to learn how to replace confrontational criticism with a healing process of mutual growth and support. 2007, St. Martin's Griffin

Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships
David Schnarch

Schnarch says that a man is more likely to let a relationship suffer in order to hold on to his sense of self, while a woman is more apt to let her identity suffer to help strengthen a relationship. Schnarch explains how to alter this pattern, encouraging each partner to move towards "differentiation" -- which means holding on to the self while simultaneously remaining in contact with one's partner. Schnarch teaches how to find inner strength and resilience that can be used to reaffirm a relationship and reignite sex. A self-help classic, highly recommended. 1998, Owl Books

Rekindling Desire: a Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages
Barry and Emily McCarthy

Sex and marital experts Barry and Emily McCarthy offer a ground-breaking ten-step program to help couples break down the barriers that have developed between them and rebuild closeness and longing. First they show couples how to root out the "poisons" that inhibit sexual desire: shame, guilt, anger, and passivity as well as medical side effects and physical dysfunctions. They then offer techniques and strategies to help couples revitalize desire and integrate intimacy and eroticism. 2013, Brunner-Routledge, 2nd edition

Awakening From the Deep Sleep: A Powerful Guide for Courageous Men
Robert Pasick

Psychologist Rob Pasick challenges men to wake up from the condition of distance and isolation that results as they are confined to the stereotyped male attitudes and behaviors American society expects of them. He offers pragmatic and helpful ideas to help men identify and trust emotion, to connect comfortably with other men, and to approach sexuality in relationships with women with clearer eyes. 1993, HarperCollins

Finding Our Fathers: How a Man's Life Is Shaped by His Relationship with His Father
Samuel Osherson

This self-help book examines the hidden struggle faced by millions of men: how to reconcile their childhood images of their fathers -- and of all men -- as silent, stoic breadwinners with the life they want to live now: embracing two-career marriages, closer ties with their children, and greater emotional awareness. Harvard psychologist Osherson shows you how your "unfinished business" with your father affects your relationships, your children, friends, and bosses, and how it can lead to a profound sense of loneliness, vulnerability, and rage. Osherson shows how you can resolve the inner conflict of the father-son relationship and develop a new sense of strength and purpose in your family life and career. 2001, McGraw Hill

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
Terrence Real

Many men may hide the reality of their depression from themselves as well as from family and friends. This unacknowledged depression may lead men to hurt the people they love most. Real tells his own story of depression as the son of a depressed father and as a father of young sons. This self-help book teaches men how to acknowledge their pain and restore healthy relationships. 1997, Scribner

Coping with Erectile Dysfunction: How to Regain Confidence and Enjoy Great Sex
Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy

With a therapeuticaly integrated technique and a unique couple centered approach, two of America's most prominent sex therapists offer men and their partners the most effective solutions available to overcome erectile dysfunction. According to the National Institutes of Health, between 15 and 30 million men experience chronic erectile dysfunction. 2004, New Harbinger

Coping With Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner and Have Great Sex
Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy

Metz and McCarthy are leading experts in premature ejaculation. This self-help book explores a multi-dimensional, bio-psychological approach to dealing with this problem and strengthening your sexual relationship. Many myths of male sexual performance and male sexual desire are explained. The authors teach about the different types of premature ejaculation and provide assessment exercises for the reader to determine which type of PE he suffers with. The authors suggest structured symptom-specific treatment strategies based on psychological, relational, and physiological techniques. Designed as a resource for couples, this self-help book is a powerful tool for creating support and positive change in your relationship. 2004, New Harbinger

Great Sex: A Man's Guide to the Secret Principles of Total Body Sex
Michael Castleman

Castleman's message to men is surprisingly simple: stop imitating the rushed, all- genital sex seen in pornography. Instead, he suggests, cultivate the opposite: leisurely, playful, total body, massage-based love-making that includes the genitals but is not focused on them. This is a well-written self-help book filled with wit and wisdom and state of the art information. It's the "sex manual" you wish your dad had handed you. 2008, Rodale Books

The First Twelve Months of Life: Your Baby's Growth Month by Month
Frank and Theresa Caplan

Covering an infant's mental, physical, language, and social development from the first week of life to the twelfth month, this self-help guide describes a sequence of events, not a timetable. It also includes growth charts summarizing developmental milestones. 1995, Bantam

What Every 21st-Century Parent Needs to Know: Facing Today's Challenges with Wisdom and Heart
Debra Haffner

Instead of a media-hyped view of the challenges parents face in the 21st century, Rev. Haffner concludes that most kids are on the right track; in fact, she claims that they are smart, committed, and engaged in their families and communities, and that they are making better choices about health and related issues than many of their parents did at the same age. The author stresses that parenting style can have a significant impact on whether kids go down undesirable roads. Utilizing what she calls the Affirming Parent style, she offers a number of viable solutions to common problems, ranging from Internet use to overscheduling. 2008, Newmarket

The Balanced Mom: Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Self
Bria Simpson

You can be a great mom and still have a life of your own. Your kids will only benefit from seeing you as a whole person and will develop greater independence and a stronger sense of who they are as people. This self-help book offers dozens of simple tips to help you maintain strong relationships with your kids and live your life in ways that reflect your true values. 2006, New Harbinger

Help Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder
James Lock, Daniel le Grange

The authors emphasize the need for parents to take immediate action in obtaining help for their teens and not to dwell on the "why." This comprehensive self-help book summarizes recent research and moves on to help parents understand eating disorders, looking at the distorted thinking behind a teenagers behavior and what the research says about the best ways to treat anorexia and bulimia. 2015, The Guilford Press, 2nd eidtion

The Guide to Getting It On
Paul Joannides and Daerick Gross

This comprehensive "how to" book on sex is entertaining, honest and enlightening. It is written in a casual style and filled with enjoyable quotes from real couples and sex therapists. Beautiful line drawings illustrate the chapters which also include a great deal of information on sexuality as a cultural phenomenon. Particularly useful for heterosexual couples. 2012, Goofy Foot Press, 7th edition

The Heart and Soul of Sex: Making the ISIS Connection
Gina Ogden

Based on a landmark sex survey, researcher and sex therapist Ogden found "the language of spiritual experience comes closest to expressing the fullness of our sexual response, for it is the language of connection and ecstasy." This self-help book guides the reader on a path to her sexual "center" where healing, ecstasy and transformation occur. 2006, Trumpter

Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss
Hope Edelman

This self-help book explores the profound pain of mother loss among women. As Edelman shares her own painful story and the stories of other women who lost their mothers, she describes the secondary effects that may occur, including the girl filling the lost mother's role at home for father and younger siblings. 2013, Da Capo Press, 3rd edition

Our Bodies Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era
Boston Women's Health Book Collective

This major update of the self-help book that helped launch the women's health movement adds new chapters on online health resources, AIDS and managed care. This empowering book remains true to the spirit of the original edition which was to give women tools to enable them to take charge of their health and their lives. 2005, Touchstone

Women Who Run With the Wolves
Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Estes, a Jungian analyst, draws on folklore, fairy tales and dream symbols to help restore women's neglected, intuitive and instinctive abilities. She describes the Wild Woman archetype, a female in touch with her primitive side and able to rely on gut feelings to make choices. An inspiring, compelling, moving and unusual self-help book. 1996, Ballentine Books

Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual Growth Program for Women
Julia Heiman and Joseph LoPiccolo

This revised and expanded edition of Becoming Orgasmic provides a program designed to help anyone overcome the myriad of obstacles to complete sexual satisfaction. This is a personal and sensitively written self-help book designed to make you feel good about your sexuality and yourself. 1987, Fireside

The Heart and Soul of Sex: Making the ISIS Connection
Gina Ogden

Based on a landmark sex survey, researcher and sex therapist Ogden found "the language of spiritual experience comes closest to expressing the fullness of our sexual response, for it is the language of connection and ecstasy." This self-help book guides the reader on a path to her sexual "center" where healing, ecstasy and transformation occur. 2006, Trumpter

The Vulvodynia Survival Guide: How to Overcome Painful Vaginal Symptoms and Enjoy an Active Lifestyle
Howard Glazer and Gae Rodke

This self-help book is a very good source of general information about vulvodynia and the accompanying emotional distress. The book helps readers identify triggers, modify their diets to reduce symptoms, find knowledgeable medical help, learn how to reduce debilitating pain and renew their enjoyment of healthy sexual relations and normal daily activities. 2002, New Harbinger