Anger Management: Ten Secrets Calm People Know

If you're reading this, you (or someone you know and care for) may struggle on occasion with out-of-control anger. You may have noticed that not everyone reacts with anger or rage to challenging situations: some people are "calm."

What is this calmness? Is it something you are born with? Is it just a matter of luck who gets to be calm, and who has to struggle with their rage?

People certainly vary as to temperament. Some are cooler, more deliberate, while others are quicker to anger, more impulsive, more passionate. Additionally, our life experiences shape us. If our family situation was relatively calm when we were children, it's more likely we'll be calm as adults. If our childhood home was chaotic, with parents who struggled with anger, it's more likely we will struggle with anger, too.

But here's the important point: calmness can be learned. More precisely, calm behavior can be learned; calm feelings will follow. You can learn to modulate your responses to life's challenging situations. You don't have to give up your passionate nature or let go of your intelligence and creativity. It's simply a matter of learning how not to go ballistic.

If you've read this far, it means you are at least wondering about your responses. Perhaps you've gotten feedback -- from your friend, your boss, or your spouse -- that you're "too angry." That may have been puzzling at first, and it's tempting to blame others for our responses. But the fact is that too much anger causes problems. It's hard to be close to someone who's too angry; people want to pull away. This can be even more frustrating to the person with angry responses -- not only are you struggling with hard things, but everybody is bailing out, leaving you to deal with them all alone.

Ready? Read on for Ten Secrets Calm People Know -- that you can implement in your life!